- Me: Is Alan going?
- David: I texted him yesterday. Probably not.
- Me: What if you tell him we're going to eat Indian?
- David: ...
- David: I can't just lie to Alan like that.
I’d always send letters expressing my emotions to you. This time it seems I’m unable to do so.I liked your reactions to them and knowing how warm and fuzzy you probably got from them.You were really special to me and I loved every piece of you. I was always positive which never happened before. I always though there was a way to fix things or I’d always forgive you when you’d call me things when you had your thoughts. No matter how angry you’d make me, I’d always think deep inside ”gosh i love this jerk” .I caused you a lot of pain that I didn’t mean. I’m immature and I’m not used to caring about other people. So forgive me, please. I know what you’d say ”It’s too late” But is it ever too late?I’m scared of messaging you. Will you even read it? What will be your answer. I’m hoping for the best but all I can think of is ”Sorry, no” Can’t you read the letters I sent you? What do they say?Think of the poem I sent you. I meant everything in it. No matter how silly it was , I really meant everything. I love you dearly and remember it’s never too late. Please I know you’re fed up. But I know you love me and I love you. We sometimes have great times don’t we? When we just chill in bed and say loving things. I wanted us to be like that everyday.So why not?
I know I fuck up a lot but I just like to think it’s because I’m not used to caring for other people. I’m learning with you. Learning how to care. I’d always have good intentions no matter what hurtful thing I did. I’d try to cheer you up by trying out different methods. Each one of them worse than the last one. We are learning. Both of us. Together. Can you say you were an amazing person when I met you? You could be a cold asshole but you learnt how to cheer me up. Why do I not get a chance to learn? Learn with you?I know I can make you happy and I know you can make me happy. I’ve never been so happy before you and I know you heard that hundred of times well….I think it’s amazing and thank you.Thank you for making me love my life again.
I know I’m an asshole. I’m still learning. Please think about it, I know you can do it.
and we no longer spoke
the same language.
I haven’t heard from you since. — Where did you go?, Hishaam Siddiqi (via seinedol)